Can I EVER Leave the House By Myself?

Stuart Miles

 (Image by Stuart Miles, courtesy of

Oh, my friends, I feel like I have so much to do lately. At the end of my day at the office, I come home and I have blog stuff to catch up on, I have freelance writing assignments, I have to make the house nice for my husband to come home to and we have to have a meal. Somewhere in there I have to take a bath, and by then I’ve about run out of energy. There are errands that I truly need to do, but they just never seem to happen!

For instance: our boss ASSIGNED us to participate in a Secret Santa thing at work…please note that this was not optional, it was required. (Are you saying “She can’t do that!” ?? That’s what we said, too. But she did!) This entails giving two gifts per week to a coworker. Another thing: we’re going to Georgia over Thanksgiving and my son does not have sufficient warm clothes. Kids in FL (where we live) are still wearing shorts to school some days. He owns nothing warmer than a T-shirt and a light knit sweat jacket, but my husband mistakenly thinks that’s sufficient, so I need to shop for warmer clothes on my own. It ain’t happ’nin! I also had about five garments that I needed to get hemmed. Four I’ve been wearing anyway, I’d just be happier if they were shorter, but the other (my nice new corduroy jumper that would have been great for Thanksgiving) can’t be worn as-is. I rode around for a week with these things in my car, but did I ever make it to an alteration shop? No! I also need to shop for something to wear to my office Christmas party (which can also be used for the candlelight Christmas Eve service at church and the matinee performance of the Nutcracker). And I have to take a white elephant gift to that party–something in a $20 range that most anybody, male or female, might like to have. And  I’m a good week or probably more past needing to get my hair done. Stuff is piling up on my to-do list!

But the thing is…after working all day–and incidentally I do not get a lunch hour–I’m tired and hungry and I just want to hurry home before the traffic builds up. And then on the weekends, my hubby–BLESS HIS HEART (lol)–wants us to be together every second, plus, he generally has scheduled so many errands for ME to accompany HIM on that once we’re finished, I’m pooped all over again and never get around to the things I needed to do.(Like yesterday, we had lunch with friends, but after that he had a whole list: we went to Walmart–where I was looking around wistfully thinking “Gee, I wish I could pick out that white elephant gift,”  but instead, I was getting dragged along by his momentum..(“Four items and then we’re outta here and on to the next stop!”); then we were on to buy gas…then to a different place to put air in the tires…then to Walgreen’s…then to a restaurant to get something for our son…by then it was nearly dark! To me this seems like a very unusual marriage situation. My friend was telling me the other day that when she was a teenager, a boyfriend who wanted to go everywhere and do everything with a girl was jokingly referred to as her “backpack.” But I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard a wife mention having a backpack husband!

For a long time, I ASSUMED my husband was like most guys who would take it in stride when I announced that I wanted to do things unaccompanied, but eventually I realized that it actually hurts his feelings. Seems crazy, but it’s true. He hates to be left at home. So, in order to cope with this, I play a few mind games with myself. For one, I imagine what if he–at the very moment when I just want to go to the dang store by myself–were no longer with me. What if I were a widow today, and could go anywhere I wanted without him to “bother” me? Obviously I would be devastated if he were gone, so that tends to improve my attitude. My other mind game is to imagine: What if, instead of wanting to go everywhere with me, he was constantly making up flimsy stories to get away from me, and home, and go off someplace to meet up with another woman? THAT thought never fails to get my attitude adjusted very quickly. And finally, I think of a dear friend of mine who never married and who has spent so many years living all alone. She would give anything for a “backpack.”

So, to sum it up, my errands are not done, but my husband is happy. I guess I’ll just have to take a day off sometime soon, if I’m ever going to cross anything off of MY list!


By the way…one of those blog-related things I keep working on is that I’m trying to get a Facebook page set up for the blog. I didn’t want to link it to my personal page so I had to create a new personal page and then add the blog page to it. I ‘m quite familiar with Facebook and yet this little project never seems to get finished. I keep thinking it will take five minutes and then it takes longer so I have to set it aside and do something else. However, please be on the lookout for an announcement when I finally do get it ready. Facebook will be a fun way for us to talk to each other more and I’m looking forward to it.

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jayne
    Nov 24, 2014 @ 13:22:33

    I feel like that about children sometimes. But then I remember that one day they will be gone and I will miss having someone permanently with me. Hope you manage to get everything done that you need to – this is such a crazy time of year!


  2. Stephanie
    Nov 24, 2014 @ 13:23:18

    I feel the same way at times with my children, those moments when I just want to go run errands quickly without taking an extra several minutes at each stop to buckle and unbuckle everyone and get distracted by toys at every turn! But, you are so right and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’m not sure if you have ever read The 5 Love Languages, but it sounds like your husband feels loved by spending Quality Time with you and you are doing a great job of loving him!


  3. Mary Dolan Flaherty
    Nov 24, 2014 @ 13:33:59

    My goodness, I could hear your busyness in your writing! You need some extra hours in the day! I used to be a personal concierge (I did other peoples’ errands) and if I had the extra money, I’d hire me! If you have it, you may want to consider that. It sure would take the pressure off. Now, about that backpack…I have one too. Mine hates to shop, but loves to accompany me. I never could figure out why. I guess he just wants to be with me. I have played those same mind games-I didn’t know there was an app for that and other people play! Haha. Blessings to you and I hope you can enjoy your time in Georgia.


    • Sweet-Water-and-Bitter
      Nov 24, 2014 @ 23:22:42

      Haha Mary, I didn’t know there was an app for that either! Unrelated story, but I play another mind game with myself that I like to call “Tammy or Granny.” This started years ago when I had a very trendy-dressing friend named Tammy. I also had a rather well-dressed grandmother, but she was over 80. Since my taste in clothes tended to be too matronly and unstylish, when I was considering a garment I would picture it on Tammy and then on Granny. If it seemed pretty logical for Granny but ridiculous for Tammy, I knew it was probably too “old” for me. I’ve been using that “app” for years, since apparently I wasn’t born with any sense of style! :-)


  4. Terri Presser
    Nov 30, 2014 @ 07:01:58

    Hmm I really don’t know what to say about this. I understand what you are saying and sometimes we need to do things by ourselves just to be able to get it all done. I know you must love being with your husband, and I just love spending time with mine and being with him every moment that I can. Times change and we need to hang on to what we have now because one day it may not be there at all. Thank you for sharing your heart at Good Morning Mondays. Blessings
    (I haven’t replied to be critical, I don’t mean to offend)


  5. Kathryn Shirey
    Dec 03, 2014 @ 11:23:48

    I feel for your overwhelmed state – I live in one much of the time, too. Maybe you need to level with your husband about everything weighing on your heart. If you had time and space to get some things off your to do list – or maybe he could go with you to run your errands – then you’d be more mentally and emotionally available to him and your son. Praying for you to be able to get through your list and find some peace this holiday season.


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